All of this has led to some conflict in our lives and has tended to keep the caregiver stressed to some degree. It is hard to go against the wishes of one you love and yet continue to push for added care for her life (and mine too, actually).
So we began this current week in a state of flux, in our conversations, and in my attempt to care for her.
Then a new, what I choose to call, a tragedy came our way.
Tuesday evening while getting her dressed for bed, I felt a sudden hurt in my lower abdomen. Again while I tried to get her in bed, it happened with more intensity. I figured I had done something wrong as I worked with her, and I could rest in the night and it would be gone by morning, or at least abated.
But as I got up with her during the night, it was still there as I moved her around.
Waking up in the morning, I dressed and walked next door to our neighbor (a nurse) and told her my problem. I did not feel I could get my wife out of bed and into the day without some help. She came over, and we accomplished the job, but she and I both knew I was going to have to see about this problem soon. The caregiver could not go down without a major impact on our arrangement of home care.
As Joan (the next door neighbor nurse) and I stood and talked outside the condo door on the landing, the first of several miracles (spelled with a small "m") occurred. Down the landing, heading for her condo came our neighbor on the north side. Now she also has nurses training, and, after explaining why we were outside the condo, she said she did not have anything to do all day, and would be glad to help out in any way. This was good because Joan and her husband had their two small grandchildren staying with them, and that was a full time job for them.
Leigh Ann, my second nurse of the day) would stay with Mayre when I left to go to my dermatology appt. to have some stitches taken out of a spot on my back where he had removed a basil cell.
This was proving to be an interesting and eventful day indeed.
During the morning, and after blessing my body with some food and Advil, I worked around with Mayre.
And I called our Hospice Nurse, Kati, relating the situation to her for any advice from that front. She said I definitely needed to see about myself, telling me that she would be on call for us anytime she was needed her at the condo.
Leigh Ann came at noon, the Advil had abated the pain, and I was functioning pretty well, so off I went to the dermatology appt. scheduled for 1pm.
Getting to the doctor's office at ten till one, I checked in and sat down to wait. There in that place, the second of the miracles occurred. I was the only one in the office, and was back in my car after getting the stitches out by ten after one.
Having had such a quick turnaround in completing the stitches removal, I decided to run by the wellness clinic (intermediate care) facility on the island, run by the hospital in Brunswick.
Another miracle: I walked into the clinic. There was no one in the waiting room. After filling out the always-present paperwork, they called me back immediately. As the nurse took the vital signs and left the room, he said the doctor would be in in just a few minutes.
About a minute or two later in walked Dr. Snow.
Completing his examination, he said there was no major tear, but that I had probably pulled a muscle. That was good news. I did not need hernia surgery just at that time.
In the time between 8am and 2pm that Wednesday, I had received the help of two nurses (plus Kati on the phone) and seen two doctors, having gotten a good report on the area on my back and the pain in my front.
What was Mayre doing all this time?
Two things really, at least in her mind. A feeling that she was responsible for my pain, and a knowledge that we did indeed need help.
That was a breakthrough of sorts anyway.
She welcomed the Hospice Nurse, Kati, when she made her visit on Thursday, and very willingly submitted herself to advice on getting stronger so she could function better on her own. She even smiled with her and told her thanks for helping care for her.
This change of attitude made all of us feel better.
I don't know how this will all work out, but I do feel that God put these folks in our lives at the right time, as they all gave their time to care for both of us and help us on the road that we are traveling.
Could have been a painful disaster, but turned out to be what looks like a light for our way.
Tune in again and see.
PS: I should apologize for making all my recent blogs about caregiving, but it is what it is, and that is most everything I have on my mind right now.
PS2: In June this year we will celebrate our 60th..we hope to make it a good one.
