Is This Even Right?

   An unusual thing happened as I began my quiet time this morning, and I share it hesitantly because I do not even know if it is a good thing or not. But it was real.

   It starts off as a prayer, and it proceeds from there:


Father God Jesus Holy Spirit,
   I am sitting here in this quiet morning with a smile on my face. Why? I don't know, maybe just the joy of being quiet in a warm spot on a cold day, and windy, too. The world seems OK. Is this the way You want me to be or to be solemn and concerned about other people and about the situation in the world?
   I don't know but it feels kinda giddy and that is not solemn at all. Is this a prayer? I sorta doubt it, but it could be one of thanks for a morning that is here and now, and is somewhat different from most.
   Sure, I walked in the previous hour and the birds were singing, or maybe talking to each other, the houses were dark and quiet for the most part, the air brisk, all of the little streamers on the oaks had fallen on the path during the rain of the previous day, and the concrete was treaded with silent steps.
   No other people inhabited this world, no one to speak to or stop to talk with, just the wind and the birds and the yellow sky with clouds in the east.
   But why should all of this make me happy and smile?
   Can I analyze my life and my moods? Do I need to or just enjoy this one for awhile?
   Will all these thoughts seem frivolous by day's end, or will these facial expressions still be around?
   Can I analyze what makes the difference, how the day pans out or should I just write and enjoy and take it for as long as it lasts.
   There are many questions, but are they important anyway? Is it just enough to experience it?
   Reading over what I have written makes me smile again. I can feel the corners of my mouth turn up involuntarily and I still wonder why. Why me? Why now? Does it portend something for today or is it just now?
   It seems counter productive to be sitting here just smiling and writing about it. I see notes to myself of things to do, but I smile and write. I think of the hours of the coming day, but still smile in the now.         
   Why?
   I can see that I am writing this on a website that is filled with Bible verses that I have not even looked at, and I have used the form on the site, one for prayers to begin my quiet time. Is this even right?
   Then my mind says "Don't be so serious, this is a time to smile without knowing why. Enjoy it."
   What would people say?
   Have I lost touch with reality?
   Somehow, I have a hard time caring?

   Hot Dog, I think of a verse from Psalm 30.

"Tears may flow in the night,
    but joy comes in the morning."

   Is this God's time or mine?

   I sincerely pray that it is both.

   I can't wait to see how this day works out.

   Perhaps the Sanctuary, or maybe the funny farm.