I Want Honesty in Prayer

   Yesterday, the pastor giving the sermon in our church talked from Matthew 6, the verses involved in the Lord's Prayer: (NASB)

“Pray, then, in this way:

‘Our Father who is in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
 ‘Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
 ‘Give us this day [e]our daily bread.
 ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
 ‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’]

   This morning, as a part of my reading in Matthew, I came to the same verses, and, I thought, there must be something here that I need to focus my attention on.

   Now I have to confess that the act of praying this prayer, out loud in a worship service, is hard for me. It is not because I do not believe, it is the feeling of rote that stops my voice from participating.

   I honestly try not to put motives in other's lives, but the voices that I hear, seem to be devoid of passion and more in the tone of "this is what we do at this time in our service". I wonder to myself how much of prayer to God is involved and how much of knowing the right words to say.

   So I am often silent when this prayer is a part of the ritual of a service.

   I read the prayer in Matthew and Luke, and I try to see the meaning in each of the words and phrases. It is a powerful praise and petition to God, with meaning that transcends my thinking.

   And when I pray these words, I want to have time to dwell on the meaning. It is just not something I can do while I try to repeat them along with others and being led from the front. It does become rote for me, and I don't feel that I honor God in that way.

   That is just me.

   I want my silence, not to be a condemning of other's prayers, but an honest effort to be in tune with God and what He wants to show me as I pray.

   So, if I am standing next to you one day, and I do not voice the words when the congregation leader asks us to speak this prayer, it is all about my inability, and nothing about anyone else.

   And, I do believe...