Stopping to Consider...

   I have to confess. I like things in order. I may even like being in "a rut". I like being "right" and having facts to back up my position.

   I am not a fan of ambiguity. I want to be dogmatic, knowing that my thoughts are in line with the way it "really is", and unafraid to let others in on the truth.

   I want God to look at all I do and say, and conclude that here is a man that is "fair, balanced and unafraid" and sure, and right.

   So why do I have such a hard time coming to grips with all that is going on in the world right now? Why am I questioning and unsure?

   What am I called to do? How do I deal with this sense of disquiet in my soul?

   I pray to God before I go out to walk, a prayer for His vision for me and for my thoughts as I go, a prayer for understanding and purpose, for the things that He wants me to realize. I look for a reason for the struggle, and think that maybe the journey of the struggle is the point.

   My walking is kind of predictable, same golf course paths, same neighborhoods, same pace, same time of the morning, but today, at the first fork, I turned right instead of left.

   After a few yards up that path, I stopped. There was movement on the right side of the fairway about 200 yards up. I slowed my pace until I could see that there were deer out. As I continued up the path, slowly, I noticed they were doing the same thing as me, stopping their eating to watch me, as I was doing the same.

   My journey up the path was interrupted as was theirs. Were these deer wondering about me and my motives for being there?

   It seemed as though I was supposed to stop and observe, then walk, then stop again several more times until they disappeared into the woods, and I was left alone on my walk.

   That short episode seemed to be symbolic of my thoughts these past few days. I read or hear the news about what is going on in our country, and I immediately have a reaction and form an opinion, but then I'm called to look at some other things that give me a clue as to what "the others" are thinking and their reasons. My snap judgements may not be as balanced as I thought.

   My original reactions and ideas may be right on, or they might be in error.

   But I doubt it is ever wrong to stop and consider the other side.