Thoughts of a Caregiver...

   I confess that not so very long ago, back when this household was healthy and rarin' to go, I was like the boy, standing outside the candy store, thinking about how each piece would taste. Then he went in and found out.

   When my wife was diagnosed down at Mayo in Jacksonville, we had no idea what to expect and how the progression would move along. Even the doctors there could not be definitive.

   So we came home and just took things as they came along.

   We started out with a right hand that did not function, and that is still the case, but now there are other issues involved with walking, talking and thinking.

   Without going into any great detail (she would not want me to anyway), I have been both blessed and challenged in the role of the primary caregiver. I tell her all the time that she is "stuck" with me.

   There are a couple of things that I have learned over these past few years that I would like to share for some that are new to the role, or don't expect ever to be.

   1. Never say never. "It won't happen to me",  either the caregiver role or the receiver. We just never know the way God will work out your life. But be certain, God will be with you in whichever place you are. I could not do without that.

   2. Hold all your plans loosely in your hands. I found out after some delay of trying real hard to make my plans work, that it is a lot more frustrating than just not making any in the first place.

   3. Never assume that what strategy worked yesterday will work again today. A case in point; I found one night that just holding my wife's hand, the one that was for all practical purposes, dead, caused her to settle down and the hand to quit twitching. Next night, using it again, had no effect whatsoever.

   4. Don't try to be a half-committed caregiver. That is a recipe for disaster. It will frustrate everyone.

   There are other others that I could mention, if I could only remember them right now, but here is a verse from Ephesians:

   "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people,"

   Back when all of this began to happen, I asked God what I should do about the various other things in my life, even good things, and the overwhelming sense came to me that my primary service was to be to my wife during this season.

   Then came the word "wholeheartedly", which, I admit, is hard to continually live by, but, which if followed, leads to a much better resolution.

   Just thoughts from a far-less-than-perfect caregiver.

   But, with God's help, one that is trying.