Be Careful of What You Build

   What is my prayer this morning? What thoughts enter my mind as I wake up, even before I read any of the Scriptures or try to pray? It is hard to get up with a clean slate, or a clear and open mind. So many things are already out there, even in the few minutes between waking and getting to this point. Even though it is only a short time, my dreams of the night before, or my plans of the coming day already want my attention. Events, words or actions of the previous day come flowing back and try to crowd out the sense of why I sit here to study and write.

   It is hard for me to concentrate with all of this going on in my mind. I want the Spirit of God to guide me in my thoughts, and maybe this is a part of that, but I often feel disappointed with myself when I realize my faults and short comings. I want to live in a way that others might see that I have been with Jesus.

  Then I look back at what I have written and it looks like Jesus is not the important part of this equation, it is me. I want to live, and I want others to see. Is not the object of any Christian life that others see Jesus not me?

   Even as I read the short Scripture passage this morning this came out:

   "When they heard it, they marveled."

   Wanting others around me to recognize that I am in touch with the God of the Universe, and that I can speak His wisdom, so that people might marvel, is a very slippery slope. Does the spotlight fall on God or me?

   Perhaps that is why God brings my past up to me in these moments, so that I can see myself as He does, and from that experience, to grow.

   After all.....

   The pedestal that I build for myself is pretty short, but it is plenty tall enough to get hurt falling off of.