Caught Between

   One of the slogans for the US Army in days gone by was "Be All You Can Be"

   Those words came to my mind this morning as I reflected again, and again, and again on those words in the "Lord's Prayer",

   Thy Will Be Done

   Something I read the other day asked the question, "What do you want to be?" It is a question asked all around us, all the time. We ask it to our kids as they grow up. We ask it to someone who is looking for fulfillment in life, and it is a good question. I even ask it, late in life, as I look to have meaning that will last.

   The Army pitch emphasizes the pronoun you, refering to the person reading the ad, and that is not all bad. It is good to strive to be better, to use our abilities to the greatest, but it does not end in a sense of self satisfaction or pride for what we have accomplished.

   Back in 1980, I trained for and ran the Chickamauga Marathon. I had run a few half marathon races of 13.1 miles, and wanted to see if I could do the full one. I ran that one race, but never tried to run another. I got what I wanted out of that experience, to be able to say that I did it. There was no lasting overriding thought of that was what I was supposed to do, it was just something that I did that I could look back and point to saying, "I did it". There was no need to even say that it took me over 4 hours, and I had to walk a lot over the last 6 miles or so. It was only, "Look at me".

   There is a sense that we are all caught between pride and surrender, between the "I" pronoun that I used so much in the previous paragraph and the "Thy Will Be Done" verse.

   John Ortberg writes in his blog:

"You are not the center of the universe. You are the not the master of your fate. There is a God, and you aren’t him."

   Even in these days of my life I still want to be the captain of my life, to do what I want to do, but, deep down, I know that it is not enough, that what I want to do will not bring lasting joy or satisfaction, unless what I want to do is to be in His Will.

   And to be able to say that line in that prayer with conviction and not resignation.

   I don't want to recite it with a shrug but with a smile.

   That will keep me from the rock and the hard place.