The ground that I stand on today has so very much to do with what has gone on in the past, and that past consists of events and decisions from way, way back as well as those from yesterday. It is another fact of life.
For a long time now, I have tried to be intentional about my relation to God and the attempt to follow where I sense His leading. Not perfectly to be sure, but I try, and at least I am conscious of that need in my life.
From the beginning of this year, I have been following the Bible Reading Plan developed by Franklin Graham's Samaritian's Purse organization. A plan keeps me on track, and I need that discipline.
Along with the Bible I try to read some other devotional. Somehow doing both helps me keep perspective on the day and my life in it.
About a month back, I was in the front bedroom checking the bookcase for a book I remembered, when I noticed a small book there, a book by Charles Ringma, Dare to Journey with Henri Nouwen.
I was introduced to Henri Nouwen back in the 90s while taking graduate level courses at Covenant College. One of my professors used Nouwen's readings as a prelude to his class each day, and I have appreciated him (both the prof. and the writer) ever since.
Placing this book alongside my Bible and reading guide, I began to journey through the 180 reflections presented therein.
Yesterday, Nouwen talked about the joyful life, and a lot of days I don't relate to that concept well. The present is sometimes frustrating and not pleasant. I don't feel resentful just a bit overwhelmed.
From Reflection 29:
"We do not need to live as if all that we are and have now is all that will ever be. The present does not need to have the last word. Life always has new possibilities that flow out of new decisions and new commitments. However we don't always live with a joyful anticipation toward the future. The present can so encompass our horizon that we can see nothing else."
But I truly want to have that joyful heart, all the time, not just occasionally...
From Reflection 30:
"Nothing will empower us to move forward as much as a joyful heart that has heard the call, counted the cost, made its commitment and embraced the new.
Reluctant obedience or sheer willpower will never last the distance. Only the joyful heart can walk that road."
Reluctant obedience and sheer willpower...is that what I am trying to do?
That is not what I want.
Praying for guidance to see beyond the horizon, and strength to serve as I should.
Help me God, Please
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