Monday, February 27, 2012

I Wonder.....

   How is God revealing Himself to me this morning. What is my relationship with the disciples that Jesus called to be His inner circle, ones that He had separated from the crowd that followed after Him? Do I see myself in that circle of close disciples, or still in that crowd that will continue to show up wherever Jesus is teaching?

   Are these twelve men special right then, or just special because of what they will become after three years with the Master? What were their thoughts when Jesus called them out and took them up into the mountain to begin their relationship with Him? Were there any personal agendas or motives for these men, reasons why they would want to become disciples?

   I can't see into their lives or hearts or know them personally at this point in the story. At this place in time, each of them did not even know what was to come, they only knew that the One that they had listened to, and watched heal the sick and demon possessed, was calling them to learn from Him, a personal invitation to be apart of something or someone. 

   The book I am reading now, Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxas, chronicles the life of the German Lutheran pastor, writer of the book, The Cost of Discipleship, as he lives out his calling in Nazi Germany before and during World War II. His discipleship involved a hanging in a German prison camp in 1945, and he is labeled a martyr for Christ.

   Tradition has it that all of Jesus' original disciples died a martyr's death, except John and Judas. They may not have signed on for this end, but it is what they got.

   My Christian discipleship has question marks all over it. Not that I do not believe it is the way, just in what it may mean as my life completes its cycle. 

   I wonder, both about my future life and about my level of commitment.

   I wonder.....

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